


There Will Come A Time

by electriclita



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-20
Updated: 2014-09-20
Packaged: 2018-02-18 02:09:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2331293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/electriclita/pseuds/electriclita
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Filled for <a href="http://spnkink-meme.livejournal.com/88360.html?thread=34428200#t34428200">this prompt</a> at spnkink-meme: "Jensen's left waiting at the altar by Jared which exactly zero people saw coming. Plot and/or introspection and angst and things happen, and Jared reveals that he hella loves Jensen but has convinced himself he's not good enough and is going to let Jensen down someday. Ye olde "you are perfect and wonderful and I am not, so I'm letting you go find the perfect and wonderful person you should be with." They make up and have a teeny tiny wedding and their much deserved happily ever after.</p>
<p>Bonus points if Jensen calls Jared sweetheart."</p>
            </blockquote>





	There Will Come A Time

Jensen tugs nervously at his sleeve as he checks his watch again for what feels like the millionth time in the last hour. It’s now half-past three and Jared still isn’t here. Jensen looks up as Chad slips back into the dressing room.

“Voicemail,” he says, shaking his head and flopping down on the couch across from where Jensen sits with his sister clutching one hand and rubbing soothing circles into his wrist. “Straight to it, same as you.”

Jensen presses his mouth in a thin line, trying to push down the dread that’s been building inside him. “Did you check with his parents?” Jensen and Jared’s parents are all sitting in the front row of the venue, since they’d agreed they wanted to walk down the aisle together. There was to be no ‘giving away’ of either man, though Jared had spent at least four months making continual jokes about finding a dress to fit him properly so he could be Jensen’s perfect, blushing bride.

“Yeah, they haven’t heard anything. I’m sorry, man. I swear he just said he was gonna grab fresh air for a minute. You want me to swing by the house?”

Jensen shakes his head. “I will.” He sighs heavily and turns to Mackenzie. “Go tell Mom to cancel, or send everyone to the reception hall, or whatever. It’s already paid for, might as well use it.”

She squeezes his hand gently. “Are you sure? You might come back…?” she trails off uncertainly as Jensen shakes his head again, drawing himself together.

“Something’s fucked up. We’re not coming back today.” He drops her hand and hugs her quickly. “Keep your phones on. I’ll update you when I can.” Chad nods and claps Jensen on the shoulder twice before heading out the door with Mackenzie. 

Jensen peeks around the corner before slipping through the doorway and out to the parking lot. His heart leaps into his throat when he sees his car still there—not sure why, as if he’d expected Jared had taken it—but manages to slide behind the wheel and start the engine with only slightly shaking hands. The fifteen-minute drive to their house seems to stretch on forever. Jensen’s heart pounds and his fingers slip as he undoes his bowtie, brain racing through more and more outrageous worst-case scenarios. Somewhere in the back of his mind Jensen figures it’s better to imagine kidnapping by invisible elephant than the idea that he just got stood up for his own wedding ceremony.

Jensen’s heart leaps again when he’s close enough to their house to see Jared’s car still parked in the driveway, though he’s not sure what that means since they’d ridden together in Jensen’s this morning. He recalls the way Jared had laced their hands together over the console and glanced quietly back at the tuxedos hanging in the rear, a soft smile on his face as Jensen drove. His thermos is still in the passenger cupholder, and Jensen wants to throw it out the window.

He parks in his spot next to Jared’s, muscle memory of years letting him move on autopilot. He only fumbles his keys slightly at the front door, immediately dropping them onto the doorway table and taking off through the house. He calls for Jared but gets no response. A glance over the living room and kitchen immediately show he isn’t there so Jensen starts down the hallway, stopping in the bathroom to grab a tissue.

As he reaches for the tissue box he hears a thump from the direction of their bedroom. It could be Sadie, but Jensen’s insides knot up anyway and he all but runs to their bedroom.

He stops dead in the doorway.

Jared’s inside, bowtie hanging loose around his collar, sleeves half-rolled up, and he’s throwing stuff into a duffel bag on the bed. He looks up and Jensen feels dizzy with relief at the same time that his stomach plummets to the floor.

“Jared,” he whispers. 

Jared doesn’t respond but Jensen sees his mouth tighten as he plucks shirts from the drawer and stuffs them into his bag. Somehow Jensen forces his body to work, to step closer to Jared and reach for him. He slips a hand over Jared’s jaw, encouraging him to turn away from the duffel and toward Jensen instead, but Jared reaches up and clasps his own hand around Jensen’s wrist to pull him away. 

“Jen, I...I can’t. I wrote you a letter, it’s on the kitchen island. Please, just…” he chokes on his next words and turns his back on Jensen, facing the dresser. Jensen stares for a long moment as Jared picks up another shirt and then stands there, his posture utterly defeated. It’s all Jensen can do tear his eyes away and move his dread-laden limbs to the kitchen.

The nondescript envelope has Jensen’s name scrawled in Jared’s familiar handwriting, the back flap tucked in instead of sealed as he prefers. Jensen eases out a plain piece of paper also covered in Jared’s handwriting, but this one’s blurred and swimming in front of his face. He blinks to clear his vision and begins reading.

By the time Jensen gets to the end of Jared’s letter the ink is splotched with the tears that have been building for the last hour. He can’t believe how blind he’s been—all the comments about becoming Jensen’s perfect bride, the day they missed their flight to Texas because Jared was running late and couldn’t even face the airline agents afterward, the increasingly frequent way Jared would defer to Jensen’s decisions. Jensen feels sick suddenly realizing how Jared internalized and compounded all of that. He’d chalked it up to pre-wedding stress and never bothered to dig any deeper and now Jared’s slipping through his fingers entirely, quietly exiting Jensen’s life so he can ‘do better.’ 

He sees a blur out of the corner of his eye and is up like a shot. “Jared, wait,” he pleads, not caring how broken he sounds. “Babe, I fucked up. I’m so sorry.” 

Jared pauses with his hand on the doorknob, duffel and messenger bags slung over his shoulders. “What? No, Jen. You didn’t do anything. I just,” his breath hitches and his eyes are getting dangerously glassy as he drops his voice to a whisper, “you deserve better.” Jared slumps and casts his eyes downward.

“You’re right! I didn’t do anything!” Jensen hears himself edging toward hysterical but can’t stop. “You were hurting and I didn’t even fucking _know_!” He pushes forward and buries his face in Jared’s chest, wrapping his arms tightly around Jared’s back.

Jared trembles for a moment before reciprocating. Jensen feels the hot splash of tears falling onto his neck and he fists his hands in Jared’s shirt, pulling back to look at his face. It strikes Jensen how utterly beautiful Jared is, the way he gives his heart away so easily and expects nothing in return. Jensen cups Jared’s jaw in one hand while tucking a long strand of hair behind his ear with the other. “Why didn’t you say anything? Why’d you let me get away with that shit?”

Jared won’t meet his eyes, but he drops his bags to the floor and Jensen feels a fleeting moment of hope. Jared’s voice is barely above a whisper as he says “It wasn’t your shit to worry about.”

Jensen’s heart breaks a little bit. “Yeah, but you are.”

Jared sniffs and laughs self-deprecatingly, a hollow echo of his usual laughter. “And you’d want me dragging you down why?”

“Because I fucking love you, that’s why!” Jensen roughly snatches Jared close again. “What’s going on? Let me in, Jared,” he begs. He feels Jared sag in his arms and he clings tighter, sliding down the door with Jared until they’re hip to hip on the floor. Jensen knocks his head back against the door while Jared lolls forward, folding his arms atop one knee and distinctly not looking at Jensen.

“Come on, Jare,” Jensen coaxes quietly. “Tell me what’s happening.”

Jared’s silent for a long moment. Then he mumbles “All my relationships go to shit,” and Jensen’s caught off-guard. He stutters out a “What?” and leans forward so he’s level with Jared.

Jared just shakes his head and sticks his nose in the cradle of his arms.

Jensen’s completely speechless. He reaches for Jared and guides him close, grateful that Jared is pliant and doesn’t try to move away. Jensen rests his head atop Jared’s and holds him, feeling tight inside. His mind is racing, heart racing faster, but at the same time he’s content to simply hold Jared for as long as he needs. His hands smooth over the planes of Jared’s back, stroking and soothing. It’s amazing how Jared can feel enormous and tiny all at once in his arms, curled into Jensen’s chest as he is. When he speaks again, his voice is rough.

“I’m sorry, Jen, I just- I thought I could avoid all this. I didn’t mean to disappoint you,” he says as he pulls away, still not looking at Jensen. “I should go.”

Jensen feels heavy. “Don’t. Please.” 

“It’s better this way.” Jared makes to rise, but Jensen grasps his hand.

“Better for who?”

Jared meets Jensen’s eyes for the first time since they sat and gives him a watery smile.“There will come a time when I fuck up so badly even you won’t be able to forgive me. It always does.”

“So what, we just give up?” Anger laces the edges of Jensen’s words.

Jared scrubs his free hand across his face. “It’s not- God, I never meant for this.” 

Jensen considers for a moment. “Jared, if you really want to leave, I won’t stop you. But make sure it’s what you really want, and not just some messed up self-sacrifice, okay? Think about it.” Jensen lets go of Jared’s hand and pushes himself off the floor, stopping only to touch his lips to Jared’s in the briefest of kisses. He lets his words settle around his shoulders like a cloak and steps down the hallway.

Jensen closes the door behind himself and sits heavily on the edge of their bed. He taps out a text to Mackenzie— _found J, talk tomorrow_ —knowing she’ll spread the word faster than anyone else. Sure enough, he gets a text back not thirty seconds later— _lmk if u need help w/body. mom sends love_ —with a photo of herself giving him an encouraging thumbs-up, still wearing her green best woman’s dress. Jensen smiles and coughs a little, setting the phone on his bedside table before curling into the bed. He waits five, ten, twenty minutes, hoping against hope that Jared will come for him before exhaustion takes over and he falls asleep with his face in Jared’s pillow.

*

When Jensen wakes next, the room is pitch-dark and he’s still alone. A weight settles in his chest and he lies in the dark for several minutes with one fist stuffed between his teeth, willing himself not to fly to pieces. He needs to get up and check the locks, brush his teeth, get out of his dress clothes before he goes back to bed.

Jensen sighs heavily as he rolls out of bed and kicks off his shoes. He shrugs off his jacket and tosses it on the dresser before opening the door. The house feels unnaturally still and quiet without its tallest and furriest occupants by Jensen’s side. Jensen creeps down the hallways to the back of the house, testing the handle on the porch doors quickly before turning toward the front door, to be sure Jared locked it when he left. Jensen takes the shortcut through the kitchen, resolutely not looking at the island as he crosses into the living room. A soft whuff sounds and he freezes momentarily.

He dares to step closer to the couch, just enough to peer over the back.

Jensen can’t breathe.

Jared’s stretched out, one foot jammed under the armrest with his knee bent, Sadie cradled in his lap and an arm slung over his eyes against the moonlight peeking through the curtains. Jared’s here. Jared’s _here_.

Jensen moves around the couch faster than he can comprehend, kneeling next to Jared and carding a hand into his messy hair. He strokes his thumb over Jared’s temple and feels Jared turn his face ever so slightly.

“Jared,” he whispers. “Wake up. Hey, wake up.” Jared responds by nuzzling into Jensen’s hand. Jensen can’t help but smile as he leans forward to press a kiss to Jared’s jaw. His arm comes down to wrap around Jensen’s back and Jensen could cry for how utterly right it feels, how close he came to losing this. 

“Don’t you ever do that to me again,” he says into Jared’s neck.

“No,” Jared agrees. “‘M sorry, Jen.” He shifts and Sadie jumps down, leaving the two of them alone. Jensen takes the opportunity to maneuver himself onto the couch next to Jared, damn the fact that he’s half hanging off the edge. This is where he belongs.

“You don’t get to do shit like that,” Jensen rasps, this time into Jared’s chest. Jared tightens his hold around Jensen and sighs.

“I know, Jen. Sometimes it’s just fucking hard. You - you could have anyone you want. People take one look and they either want to be you or be with you.”

Jensen laughs uncomfortably. “You think they don’t do the same to you? I see all the ‘fuck me Jared, I love you Jared’ crap people write any time you post something on Twitter.” He pokes Jared in the side. “Besides, it’s not really about them, is it? You said one day you’re gonna fuck up and I won’t forgive you.”

Jared tenses and swipes at his hair. Indecision wars on his face and Jensen takes pity on him. “That’s not gonna happen, alright? If it was going to it would have already. And there’s nothing—well, very little—I wouldn’t be able to forgive. Love you too damn much.” Jensen leans up onto Jared and kisses him firmly.

“I even forgive you for abandoning me on our wedding day,” Jensen smirks. Jared rolls his eyes, but Jensen can tell he’s still unsettled. “Look, Jare, you’re it for me. I couldn’t give a fuck less about anything else as long as I still get to go to sleep and wake up with you.” He kisses Jared again, sweet and insistent, gratified when Jared kisses him in return. 

“Come on, let’s go to bed.” Jensen raises himself off the couch and holds out a hand, sweeping Jared into a crushing hug as soon as he takes it.

“I’m sorry, Jen. I’m so stupid. I was so stupid today.” He buries his nose in the short spikes of Jensen’s hair and breathes deeply.

“It’ll be okay, sweetheart. Just don’t scare me like that again, yeah?” Jensen feels Jared nod his head against his hair. “I love you.”

“Love you too.”

*

Two months later Jensen stands across from Jared in front of their closest family and friends. He thinks he likes this date better—it’s closer to the date he and Jared first met—and he definitely likes this setting more. The lodge rises up behind their guests, the mountains and lake their backdrop, but Jensen can’t stop staring at Jared. He’s so wrapped up in watching Jared’s shoulders he nearly misses his cue from the officiant. Mackenzie has to poke him in the side to bring him back to Earth and Jared’s unrestrained smile at the ring Jensen slides on nearly makes Jensen float away again. Jensen watches Jared’s hands as he neatly places Jensen’s ring and barely waits for the officiant to declare they seal their union before pulling Jared in for a hell of a kiss. 

Everything after that is a little bit of a blur. They retreat down the aisle with Sadie and pose for what feels like a million photos with various family members and friends before everyone digs into the delicious fare. Jared’s somehow gotten his favorite barbeque all the way from Austin and they smear sauce across each other’s faces instead of cake, even though there’s an entire table of desserts. Jensen dances with his mom, Jared’s mom, Mackenzie, and then Chad which turns into a fake tussle between Jared and Chad. He can’t remember the last time he’s smiled so much for so long.

When the revelry finally winds down Jensen tugs Jared away to the gazebo behind the lodge.

“I have something for you.” He pulls a small envelope from his breast pocket, warm from being carried near his heart all day, and hands it to Jared. “I know I shot down your idea of writing our own vows, but it was mostly that I didn’t want to say a bunch of sappy stuff in front of everyone. That’s kinda just for us, you know? So here.”

Jared smiles and leans into Jensen as he carefully unfolds the letter from inside the envelope.

_There will come a time when the path isn’t clear, and I will guide you._  
 _There will come a time when you need a hug, and I will hold you._  
 _There will come a time when things get rough, and I will be your anchor._  
 _There will come a time when you hurt, and I will protect you._  
 _There will never come a time when I won’t choose you._

_Love always._


End file.
